Lyrics

1. Patchwork
(Phil Demetrion/Nikki Matheson)

She pieces together the scraps from her memory
Forming a pattern in space and time
Scarlets and yellows, her sunny summer garden
Dark blues for the shadowy corners of her mind.
chorus:
It’s a patchwork, it’s all of her years
Wrap yourself in it
Keep warm at night
It’s a patchwork, her laughter her tears
Spread it on the ground
Watch the stars so bright.
A small swatch of fabric, her heart it beats so quick now
He’d be coming home at the end of the day
So long ago, now here at her sweet touch
Bright colors fade, they never stay
She traces the good times, moments of bliss
When all lay before her in passions and dreams
But it’s getting late now, she gathers up her basket
To put it away. Are things ever as they seem?

Nikki Matheson: piano and vocals
Colin McCaffrey: mandolin
Jeremiah McLane: accordion
Mathieu Fromont: harmonica
Claude Samard: dobro
Gabriel Yacoub: acoustic steel guitar
Nicolas Mingot: nylon guitar
Yannick Hardouin: bass
Jean-Pierre Arnoux: udu potée
Engineers: Eric Page and Patrice Clémentin (Paris)
and Colin McCaffrey (Vermont)
© 2011 SACEM FRANCE

2. Invisible Angel
(Matheson)

“Loveliest in my invisible landscape, you that made me
more known to the invisible angels.” (Ranier Maria Rilke, Lament —Uncollected Poems, Vintage International 1989 (translation Stephen Mitchell).
Haunting myself, I kept you up in the air
What if I lost you in that elsewhere?
Living in this world of lovers and the loved
Wondering why I could not see you out there
So ill at ease, oh how I learned to sleep
Carried on wings and rolling wheels
Dreaming of love to the clack of the steel
Never inside the peace
Don’t dismiss me now, my invisible angel
Hold on to me now, my invisible angel
From so far away you seemed so small, not at all
Across a distance my arms could not hold
I’d close my eyes, imagining but never saw
You in so many dreams, so many forms.
Elegant one in an instant reveal
The length of this trail I have traced
Turning ‘round corners expectantly
Just to see your face.
Don’t dismiss me now, my invisible angel
Hold on to me now, my invisible angel
Come down into my arms, you can make me part
Of this bright light so silently falling ‘round us.
All of my lives, a wonder I never knew
I’ll hold on tight I won’t let of you.
Strange is this sweetness so clear here tonight
Your eyes calm as stars looking over
I listen to rain just like luck pouring down
Now as we brim with life
Don’t dismiss me now, my invisible angel
Hold on to me now, my invisible angel.

Nikki Matheson: piano and vocals
Colin McCaffrey: mandolin and acoustic guitars
Greg Anderson: bouzouki
Will Patton: tenor resonator guitar
Claude Samard: pedal steel
Mathieu Fromont: harmonica
Yannick Hardouin: bass
Jean-Pierre Arnoux: udu potée
Engineers: by Eric Page, Patrice Clémentin (Paris)
and Colin McCaffrey (Vermont)
© 2011 SACEM FRANCE

3. Just One in a Small Few
(Nikki Matheson)

One night in those rolling hills
Up in northern France
So cold and fresh from the newly fallen rain
And from the mud she found him
She was frightened, he was unharmed.
Leaning upon her shoulder
Stumbling in the morning light
Later he went on to find his countrymen
Embarking, they were winning,
It was almost the end.
chorus:
I never knew my father
He was just a soldier passing through
Wasn’t the same color
Mama didn’t know what to do
Here I am before you now
A lesson in history
You can turn your eyes to the shadowed cross
Just one in a small few.
And at the end I came to you,
A standing monument in your view.
You made me invisible with your shutters closed up tight
As you tried to forget that night
The liberators came and went
The picture looks much better now
Green are the hills where the mud streamed down.
Whistling crosses to mark their passage on
I would shiver
For those who lie under the morning dew.
Group the souls together and protect me now
Here in this room a few miles from you
Flags wave outside for the fighting, freed and true
I guess you could say that life is hard
‘Cause Mama cried too.

Nikki Matheson: piano and vocals
Colin McCaffrey: acoustic guitar
Jeremiah McLane: accordion
Tim Cummings: small pipes
Viktor Krauss: acoustic bass
Caleb Bronz: drums
Engineer: Colin McCaffrey
© 2011 SACEM FRANCE

4. Quand viendra-t-elle ?
(Eugène Poittier/Trad. Arr Matheson)

“When will she appear?” (1870)
A translation of these lyrics appears on my website. At first you are led to believe that the author is waiting for someone, but the words reveal a greater hope. Although living the life of poverty (la misère) that brings homelessness, usury, and financial dominance can sour anyone’s outlook on life, there is still hope for social justice.
J’attends une belle,
Une belle enfant,
J’appelle, j’appelle,
J’en parle aux passants.
Ah! Je l’attends, je l’attends!
L’attendrai-je encore longtemps?
J’appelle, j’appelle,
J’en parle aux passants.
Que suis-je sans elle?
Un agonisant.
Que suis-je sans elle?
Un agonisant.
Je vais sans semelle,
Sans rien sous la dent.
Je vais sans semelle,
Sans rien sous la dent,
Transi quand il gèle,
Sans gîte souvent.
Je ne suis pas notaire, c’est la faute à Voltaire
Je suis petit oiseau, c’est la faute à Rousseau
Transi quand il gèle,
Sans gîte souvent,
J’ai dans la cervelle
Des mots et du vent.
J’ai dans la cervelle
Des mots et du vent.
Bétail, on m’attelle,
Esclave, on me vend.
Bétail, on m’attelle.
Esclave, on me vend.
La guerre est cruelle,
L’usurier pressant.
Joie mon caractère, c’est la faute à Voltaire
Misère mon trousseau, c’est la faute à Rousseau
La guerre est cruelle,
L’usurier pressant.
L’un suce ma moelle,
L’autre boit mon sang.
L’un suce ma moelle,
L’autre boit mon sang.
Ma misère est telle
Que j’en suis méchant.
Je suis tombé par terre, c’est la faute à Voltaire
Nez dans le ruisseau, c’est la faute à Rousseau
Ma misère est telle
Que j’en suis méchant.
Ah! viens donc, la belle
Guérir ton amant!

When Will She Appear? (Translation)

I await someone beautiful
A beautiful child,
I call out for her, I call out for her,
I speak of her to passers-by
Oh, I wait for her, I wait for her
How much longer will I have to wait?
I call out for her, I call out for her,
I speak of her to passers-by
What am I without her?
I am dying.
What am I without her?
I am dying
I walk without soles on my shoes
and have nothing to eat
I walk without soles on my shoes
and nothing to eat
Homeless when it’s freezing
Often, no shelter at all
Homeless when it’s freezing
Often, no shelter at all
In my head,
Are only words and wind
In my head,
Are only words and wind
Like cattle they harness me
A slave, they sell me
Like cattle they harness me
A slave, they sell me
War is cruel
The usurer presses
War is cruel
The usurer presses
One sucks out my bone marrow
The other drinks my blood
One sucks out my bone marrow
The other drinks my blood
My poverty is such that
It’s making me mean
My poverty is such that
It’s making me mean
Oh come quickly, beautiful one
Come heal your lover!

Nikki Matheson: vocals, soprano and bass clarinets
Jeremiah McLane: piano
Engineer: Colin McCaffrey
Background vocals from Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables
© 2011 SACEM FRANCE

5. Bells in the Air
(Ellen Hinsey)

The morning’s dark and full of sounds
The winter cold creeps to my window
There’s a light across the way
And still I turn to face the pillow
And sail into a white dream
That’s empty and makes no sense
Till I see a simple form
Bending by the water’s brilliance
chorus 1:
What’s that voice I hear
Ringing like bells in the air?
What’s that form I see,
Is that you come near?
In the dim light of sleep
I move towards the silhouette
And look for the cherished signs
And the sweet sphere of your breath
chorus 2:
What’s that face I see
Half-raised now and now half-hidden?
Is it the one I seek
When evening comes near?
In a moment I’ll hold you close
Even though you’re far away
And then you turn to face me just
As I move from sleep into day
So I will have dreams’ shadows
And she will have your tender heart
I’ll lie in the cool of dawn
Walk in memories dark.
chorus 3:
What’s that voice I hear
Ringing like bells in the air?
What’s that face I see,
Is that you come near?

Nikki Matheson: vocals, piano and clarinet
Michael Close: cellos and string arrangement
Engineer: Colin McCaffrey
© 2011 SACEM FRANCE

6. To Lay Me Down
(Hunter/Garcia)

To lay me down, once more, to lay me down
With my head in sparklin’ clover
Let the world go by, like the clouds a’streamin’
To lay me down, one last time, to lay me down
To be with you, once more, to be with you.
With our bodies close together
Let the world go by all lost in dreamin’
To lay me down, one last time, to lay me down
To lay me down, to lay me down, to lay me down,
one last time, to lay me down
To lie with you, once more, to lie with you
With our dreams entwined together
To wake beside you, my love still sleepin’
To tell sweet lies, one last time and say good night
To lay me down, to lay me down, to lay me down, one last time.

Richard Shindell: lead vocal and 12-string acoustic guitar
Nikki Matheson: harmony vocal
Colin McCaffrey: guitar, piano and viola
Viktor Krauss: acoustic bass
Engineers: Lane Gibson and Colin McCaffrey
© Ice Nine Music

7. Whisper I Love You
(Rod MacDonald/Trad. Arr. Nikki Matheson)

Down a long, darkened hallway I follow your hand
Where another so recent in my place did stand
Who held you and kissed you, hoping your love to keep
And she whispered I love you as you drifted to sleep.
I’ve always been a dreamer, I’m not young no more
For all of its passion, love’s a two-sided door
In the firelight she’ll cradle, caress you so sweet
In the morning she’s away with wings on her feet.
By the light of the full moon I’ve stood on the hill
Seen the spectre of lovers try to keep their souls still
For their far away sweethearts’ safe return from all harm
When they whisper I love you in far away arms.
And many is the long night I prayed in my bed
The forgiveness of lovers in my own way misled
Can the memories of laughter bring old wounds to heal?
When I whispered I love you, didn’t I think it real?
Down a long, darkened hallway, I reach for your hand
The light in your eyes, I know I understand
My love and my tenderness I save for you
And we whisper I love you and believe that it’s true.

Nikki Matheson: piano and vocals
Colin McCaffrey: guitars, violin, cello and shaker
Tim Cummings: pennywhistles and small pipes
Viktor Krauss: acoustic bass
Caleb Bronz: drums
Engineer: Colin McCaffrey
I heard this song by Clannad as Éirigh Suas a Stóirín in the 70s. The melody was so beautiful but I’m not a Gaelic singer, so I asked Rod MacDonald to write lyrics. I knew he’d find the words.
Lyrics: ©1986 Rod MacDonald/Blue Flute Music (ASCAP).

8. Lover of Salt
(Matheson)

In the trail of all lost moments,
The ones that would not be penned
Blown away with the blaze of the homeless
When the smoke cleared you were there.
Stand away from the situation,
From the words that you never could hear
From the heart turned in your direction
They were not meant for your ears.
chorus:
I know about the sweat and tears
Lover of salt come out to me
I know about the sweat and tears
I know about the sweat and tears
Love of salt come out to me
I know about the sweat and tears
Lover of salt
Passing through all the seasons that were to be
Days spent watching across the sea
Cursing every clock and vehicle
That took you farther from me.
Standing here upon my rock
Holding tight has been hard enough
Was it the salt that set to sting my eyes,
Or when you asked me not to fall in love?
bridge:
Lover of salt stands on the shore
Fixed in place he’ll turn to stone
Yet savor all the water rushing over
Just to melt and flow.

Nikki Matheson: vocal
Colin McCaffrey: high-strung and electric guitar, viola, bass, and shaker
Caleb Bronz: drums and triangle
Modou Ndione: djembe and djoun-djoun
Engineer: Colin McCaffrey

9. Your Love for My Tears
(Matheson)

You can’t tell me that I’m hiding,
When you’re holding down the lid
Set my will to sliding, then frighten me off with
The ice inside the fire, a fire that could chill
A dark eye in the daylight, a light that will not kill
Your love for my tears
You know you only bring them out so you won’t see
That little world you’re hiding behind the fear,
Well drop by drop lose what you gain
In every possible measure of pain
Your love for my tears
Your love for my tears
There are secret stories that we all keep
Like what’s the reason you keep coming here?
Well the line between the romance and the real
Is always for you to say
With your love my tears, your love for my tears
So hold on to that bottle and your stoned clarity
Don’t let no one ask you nothing
When your glass is aimed at me
That burning gold you swallow when you can’t let it flow
You just come to see me when you gotta watch it flow
Your love for my tears, your love for my tears.

Nikki Matheson: vocal
Colin McCaffrey: electric and acoustic guitars, resonator and bass
Will Galison: harmonica and djembe-tambourine
Caleb Bronz: drums and tambourines
Engineer: Colin McCaffrey
Originally recorded by Montreal-based blues singer extraordinaire, Nanette Workman. I thought I’d give it a shot.
© Les Éditions Bros/Les Éditions Namu
© 2010 SACEM FRANCE

10. Do I Care
(Maria Muldaur and Merle Saunders)

Do I care if skies are grey
It don’t mean nothing to me
My man’s home where he belongs
Taking good care of me
Do I care, if the rent is late
Rent don’t mean nothing to me
My man’s home where he belongs
Taking good care of me
bridge:
All tiny problems, it’s easy to solve them
When he’s by my side
Funny when I’m with him
I forget how I missed him
Playing little boy and girl
Husband and bride
Do I care if the door don’t lock?
We’ll just let it be
My man’s home where he belongs
Giving sweet love to me

Nikki Matheson: vocal
Colin McCaffrey: acoustic guitar
Will Patton: mandolin
Will Galison: harmonica
Viktor Krauss: bass
Engineers: Colin McCaffrey and Lane Gibson
This song was part of the sound track to the movie Steelyard Blues in the 70s but never made it into the film. It has been in my back pocket for years.
© Parker Music/Warner Brothers Music

11. It’s Still Raining in Paris
(Matheson)

Long-gone lovers will always reappear
I think it’s the dreaming that brings them here
Memories of parting, so come the tears
Oh it’s still raining in Paris
Fall turns to winter, not to my surprise
I feel all those questions you asked with your eyes
It’s not for lack of answers I do not reply
Oh it’s still raining in Paris
bridge:
I listen to the rhythm on the cobblestone squares
The rattling of old leaves brings voices out of nowhere
It’s the sorrow I have felt
It’s the solitude we share
I hear anger on the mist, from hearts that wait for spring
“I left you with nothing,” “I gave you everything.”
It’s been so long since we’d seen that old light shining
Oh it’s still raining in Paris
I’d like to get away from the roar of this undertow
That’s rolling me over in some forgotten flow
Tomorrow the gardens may all be aglow
Oh it’s still raining in Paris
It’s hard for you to understand I know,
But it’s still raining in Paris.

Nikki Matheson: vocals
Nicolas Mingot: electric guitar
Yannick Hardouin: bass
Jean-Pierre Arnoux: drums
Manu Le Houëzec: soprano sax
Engineer: Patrice Clémentin
Remastered by Lane Gibson
This recorded live in France and I no longer had the master recordings, so thanks to Lane for his fine work on this track.
© 2011 SACEM FRANCE

12. Tout leur pensement
(Charles d’Orléans/Matheson)

This is one of the over 440 poems penned by Charles, Duke of Orleans while imprisoned for 25 years in England. It’s a warning to young people to beware of the many who wish to realize their dreams without personal investment. In other words, they want something for nothing, both in love and money. I updated the original French.

J'oy estrangement
Plusieurs gens parler
Qui trop mallement
Se plaingnent d'amer ;
Car légièrement
Sans peine porter
Vouldroient briefment
A fin amener
Tout leur pensement
C'est fait follement
D'ainsi désirer :                      
Car qui loyaument
Veulent acquester
Bon guerdonnement,
Maint mal endurer
Leur fault et souvent
A rebours trouver
Tout leur pensement
S’amour humblement
Veulent honnorer
Et soigneusement
Servir sans fausser
Des biens largement
Leur fera donner ;                  
Mais premièrement
Il veult esprouver
Tout leur pensement

Translation:
The medieval word “pensement” carries many meanings related to dreams, desires, plans, projects and such.

It is curious to hear people who complain bitterly of love, yet who take it lightly, without the slightest effort, to realize all they desire.
It’s also a folly to desire, thus so, for one who is so loyal, and wishes to reap the rewards yet despite their best efforts, fall short of all of they desire.
Love, humbly, wishes to honor and caringly serve, not to betray. There is so much to gain, but firstly, they wish to feel all they desire.

Nikki Matheson: vocals and piano
Colin McCaffrey: acoustic guitars and upright bass
Tim Cummings: pennywhistles
Engineer: Colin McCaffrey
© 2011 SACEM FRANCE

13. High on a Mountain
(Ola Belle Reed/Alex Campbell)

High on a mountain, wind blowin’ free
I’m thinking ‘bout the days that used to be
High on a mountain, I’m standing all alone
I wonder where the years of my life have flown
As I looked down these valleys down below
They were green just as far as I could see
As my memory returned, oh how my heart did yearn
For you and the days that used to be
chorus:
High on a mountain, wind blowin’ free
I’m thinking ‘bout the days that used to be
High on a mountain, I’m standing all alone
I wonder where the years of my life have flown
Well I wonder if you ever think of me
Or if time has blotted out your memory
As I listen to the breeze flow gently through the trees
I’ll always cherish what you meant to me

Nikki Matheson: vocals
Nicolas Mingot: electric guitar
Yannick Hardouin: bass
Jean-Pierre Arnoux: drums
Engineers: Patrice Clémentin (live recording) and Colin McCaffrey
© Midstream Music
I had always sung this song in the Bluegrass style. It was when I was standing at the top of a Smokey mountain I got the idea to sing this a cappella. So much space up there…